Shahid Kapoor and Kangana Ranaut had been bombarded with questions of their lovemaking scenes in Rangoon, especially the one in the mud. When they arrived to promote their movie in the talk show The Kapil Sharma Show, Shahid was looking visibly annoyed with Kapil’s persistent questions on their muddy lovemaking scene. Going by what we saw in the trailers and the songs, it was quite tastefully done, so can’t understand Shahid’s annoyance with him, but Kangana had a valid objection that scene. She found it very dirty to kiss Shahid because of all the mud in his moustache…
Muddy issues apart, there’s a lot to avoid in making love in such places rather than in the comfort of your homes. People keep on saying about their ‘times’ at the beach or in the swimming pool or in a parked car. Bollywood have also the concept of making out in such unconventional places. But rarely are the repercussions discussed of such adventurous sexual activities. In this special feature, we will look at 7 such places where Bollywood lets their actors do the ‘hot’ thing, and why you should never attempt to emulate them!
Sex in the mud
Disorders: Flesh-eating bacteria, skin infections, rashes
There is a reason that your moms tell you to take a bath when you return home after a draining football match in the rains. Mud is hygienically not good for your health, and it can lead to various infections and diseases. So imagine what all will you suffer when you roll around the mud completely naked! Hey, did I mention about worms and others keedas? Now does that mud look appealing to you?
Sex on the beach
Disorders: Typhoid fever, hepatitis A, and dysentery
If mud’s not good for you, why should sand be any different? Though always considered an exotic way to make love, it’s a near impossibility to have any kind privacy on our Indian beaches. And if you do find a secluded spot, rest assured various infections and allergies are not gonna ignore you there. Plus, the coarse grains of the sand can cause blemishes and cuts. Enjoy the sun, play with the waves, and feel the breeze, but it’s better for your health to not to do any hanky panky at the beach!
Sex in the pool
Disorders: Yeast infections and urinary tract infections, embolism, vaginal dryness
Another concept that rules many of our sexual fantasies. While the idea of lolling around in the pool in skimpy or no clothes may be appealing to many, the idea of doing the ‘act’ in the water is not at all recommended. First of all, chlorinated water is not exactly good for your health, and if it’s a pool used by people other than you, there are chances of getting infections as well. And even if it’s an exclusive private pool, vaginal dryness can’t be counted out and that’s one thing you don’t want while having sex.
Sex in a public bathroom
Disorders: e.coli, salmonella, shigella, Methicillin-resistant Staph Aureus and lots of other diseases
It’s a bathroom/washroom for God’s sake! And not just any bathroom; a bathroom that has been used by so many people before you. Even if you have read a little basic science, you know such places are a haven for germs and diseases. Getting hot and sweaty in there with your partner is basically inviting a lot of medical bills!
Sex in the hay
Disorders: Hay Fever, asthma, and other flies-inflicted diseases
Ahhh! The roll in the hay! What an erotic idea! Seeing Anil Kapoor and Dimple Kapadia make out in the hay in Jaanbaaz inspired many such sexual fantasies in the ’80s and the ’90s. But you do know that haystacks are kept near cattle sheds, and cattles and horses draw a lot of flies. And flies doesn’t enhance your sexual experience. Especially if you suffer from asthma, this is the last place you would really want to be with your loved one.
Sex on the balcony
Disorders: Risk of falling to death and slip disk
Unless you are into some sort of acrobatic or daredevil sex, better avoid doing it on the balcony of your house. Not only is there a chance that you might be seen by some voyeur, there are chances of you suffering from sprains, slip dis issues, and worst, death. Yes, the last case has even happened in real life.
Sex in car
Disorders: cramps, DVT and heat stroke
When you don’t have a room, why not do it in the car? But sex in such a confined space (Sorry Chetan Bhagat, stealing that line of yours from One Night @ A Call Centre) not only leads to cramps, but there have been cases where people have suffered from Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT). And if that AC is not working, there is also a chance of suffering from heat stroke. We are not even discussing the chance of being discovered by a patrolling havaldar, and the consequences of that discovery!
So in short, it’s always better to have some ‘palang tod’ action….
….rather than do it in places that for a few moments of sexual adventures could lead you to months of medical treatment! Always be safe!